We went to see a friend's baby yesterday. She's a month and a half old and absolutely adorable; it's so amazing to watch her sleep and wonder what it is she must be dreaming about when she scrunches up her little hairless eyebrows and bites her lip with her little teethless gums. Everything about her radiates trust and vulnerability, and I find it equally reassuring and discomforting. She lives in a VERY well-off family and will live a very privileged life, but she doesn't know that. She doesn't know about global warming, doesn't worry about whether she will die in her next cab ride, doesn't understand that there will be some days that the sunsets take her breath away and others when she despises the sunrises.
She doesn't know that someday someone will break her heart.
There was a small but persistent part of me, a rock-hard tumor of disillusionment tucked somewhere in a shadowy back corner of my brain, that yelled at me that someone should tell her these things, tell her how much life is going to hurt her and how people are going to abandon her, before she has to find out on her own.
And then I looked at Lindsey, who was holding the baby at the time, and I realized how ridiculous it was. The truth is, I'm so lucky. I've had friends like Lindsey who have stuck by me even when I couldn't get out of bed, let alone return the favor. I've traveled all over the world. I speak one of the world's hardest languages (kind of). I've met amazing people and seen amazing things. Yes, life hurts me sometimes, but I think it's just because there's so damn much of it. And the reality is, I can only hope this little child is as lucky as I've been, and that in the end she'll have the strength to pay the price that such good fortune sometimes ends up costing.
6 comments:
曹磊，不是悲觀的情绪，而只是考盧生活的問題。我們很青年的時侯都很無非的，但是長大了點以後發現並不是容易的。我只是思想我們有沒有辦法保護小孩子，不要讓她們感到傷心。
但是我畢竟覺得生活一邊是不容易的，一邊是很美麗的。如果不讓我們的小孩子感覺傷心的話，那他們就也不能感覺開心。
而且，我是說雖然我的生活現在有點不開心，可是我其實很幸運的，因爲我有許多許多的好朋友。不管你的生活難不難過，它還是美麗的，因爲我有可以幫助我的朋友。=)
Sorry, my Chinese is terrible!! I'm sure this makes no sense at all...
becca your Chinese is awesome.
I’m hoping your next blog entry in Chinese (better in simplified chinese)
Becca, this is such a beautiful thought, the balance of things good and bad, and how can we give up the good, just because the bad hurts.
Beautifully said.
Cute kid, too!
Dear Becca......This is Lindsey's Oma (grandmother) and after I set up a blog just so I could "talk" to you, you tell me I didn't need one. Oh well, another new experience and one I may end up enjoying.
Am enjoying your blogs very much. Loved your description of the railroad trip and your encounter at the station. Had one similar, only it was while I was walking a narrow plank walk laid on the river bed for our Yangstze River cruise. Had one roll-on (carry-on) and two men attached themselves to me and my bag, which I held on to. About 2/3's of the way to the boat, I finally grabbed the bag, yanked hard, and pulled it out of their hands. They left, disgusted. Be careful about these people, as you've already learned. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
Oma
Dear Oma,
How nice to get a post from you =). Thanks for the tip. Fortunately I've had enough experience in China now (this is my third time here) that I'm starting to develop an eye for distinguishing the good people from the bad ones. I've been taken a few times it's true, especially in the beginning, but in truth the times when people have honestly and earnestly helped me just for the heck of it far outnumber the times I've been cheated. Sometimes I genuinely feel that I owe the Chinese a huge debt for restoring my faith in humanity....
Hi Becca:
I am Lindsey's Stepfather. I have been following both you and Lindsey through your blogs. What a treat to get such a differant perspective from two people who are doing the and seeing the same things. I will continue to follow your blog now that Lindsey has moved on. You are such a very good writer and I so much enjoy reading about your experiences. Have a great trip and I will continue to follow you.
Ray
rlmaros@comcast.net
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