Friday, June 16, 2006
Well, it's official. I've finally graduated. And there's a big hole in my gut where all the stress used to be. It's not necessarily that I'm actually wanting for things to worry about - stress over problems with my scholarship and preparing for the big move are keeping me on my toes - but there's a sense in which I really just don't know what to do with myself now. I've spent the past five years barreling full-speed toward the goal of a silly piece of paper, and now that I've passed the finish line I feel like it was way too anti-climactic. Something else was supposed to happen. Fireworks, maybe.
Unable to satiate my lust for being evaluated, I've started studying for the GRE, which I plan to take before I leave the country. Thanks to a loan from a friend and some generous graduation gifts from family I was able to sign up for a prep course, which I'm grateful for because an initial practice test on Wednesday revealed that I am NOT as smart as I thought I was. In my mind the whole prep course is a little bit like steroids, artificially pumping myself up so I look a lot better than I actually am. But until they develop a better system than the current standardized test fiasco, I'm doing the best I can with what I have.