Well, I've finally done it; I've finished my finals. I would apologize for not posting for a while if I felt bad, but right now I don't. I'm so numb from stress that I won't be able to feel anything, much less guilt, for at least another two days. Next to finals themselves, this is the worst time of the quarter: I've become so adjusted to running non-stop that now my body doesn't understand that there's nothing especially pressing that needs to be done. It's like getting off of a roller coaster. It's fun (or in this case, tolerable) while you're on it, but after you get off you feel kind of nauseous.
I completely BOMBED my Chinese Lit test this morning. Which makes me wonder: do I really want to be this educated? All I really wanted was to learn another language, maybe stretch my brain a little. But just a little. I don't really care what Xi Kang ate for breakfast in Fujian provice on April 12, 485 CE. The thing about all these 400-level classes is that suddenly, for the first time in my entire fifteen years in school, they want me to think. Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen. No longer am I required to simply spew forth information previously spoon-fed into my eager young brain. Now - somewhat late in the game, if you ask me - I am actually required to think for myself, a practice at which I have virtually no experience. Why didn't anybody tell me I was going to have to do this? I'm disappointed and more than a little disllusioned.